So I was in a precarious situation yesterday afternoon when I realized that Mason (who has been sick for 3 days now) was not getting any better but I was supposed to leave for a three-day conference in Austin at 2:30. Should I stay or should I go? It's not as easy as the song makes it sound (a la The Clash).
This is the challenge of a full-time working parent. Compounded with this is the fact that a major portion of the equation to raising children (sick or healthy) is ~7528 miles away. Sprinkle in a lot of love for education and wanting to know everything I can do to make me a better teacher and you get a recipe for self-inflicted guilt for not being able to make an easy decision. Because this should be an easy decision, right...?
It was about 12:30 Sunday afternoon when all of this hit me (T-minus 2 hours from departure) and Jeff called. It was not being able to get everything done (this is yet another personality trait that is sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse) that manifested itself in tears over the phone. I immediately felt horrible for crying on the phone (I don't want Jeff [or anyone for that matter] to think I am overwhelmed) and didn't want him to feel bad because he wasn't here to help. So, I did my best to squelch my emotions.
After we got off the phone, I made a few phone calls and Mimi and Morgan were there to save the day! (Side note: I could not have made it through this year without either of them being available to help with the boys on a moment's notice! You two are my angels!) We were able to set up doctor's appointments (Mason's eye drops were not working after 3 days and he was still puny [he also ended up having an ear infection]), pick-up/drop-off times, and I was able to drive the car-pool lead for the conference.
Even driving out of town and halfway to Austin, I still felt like a "bad mom" for leaving my sick child at home. I knew (and Jeff reaffirmed) that he was in good hands and I was able to realize that I was only 1.5 hours away and if I needed to, I could drive back to Austin/Houston pretty quickly. This helped ease my stress about the situation. At the same time, I kept questioning myself: "What mom leaves their sick child at home and goes to work?"
Last night and today, he has been in the back of my mind and I was able to get updates via text throughout the day with his progress. He is much better today and all of his meds seem to be working now.
Looking back, it is crazy to see how it all worked out when I was so stressed about which decision to make. I have a sneaking suspicion that this will not be the last time I have to decide which route to take, but all I can hope is that I have learned to take a deep breath and not stress too much (God will provide a way, one way or another!). And I remember that jobs don't last forever-families do!
May God bless you and keep you.
Countdowns:
Barcelona: 4 days
Dad's R&R: ~45 days
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